Pierre at MacCarthy’s

the length of my memory can be measured in segments of losing touch.

Everything ends. it isn’t that this idea disturbs me anymore, or even that it comes as a surprise. When you live in a state of transition, the general idea is nothing can be permanent. regardless, the to and fro of people is never an easy wave to ride.

Pierre was here for a few weeks and now is gone, and I’ll be next to leave the work flat.

Accumulated interactions, sincere but short-lived. I wonder what, if anything, this is all leading to, or if this is simply a road that doesn’t end; if I’m even still on a road at all. Like something out of an old cartoon, I’m a bit afraid if I look down I’ll see the earth far below, the ledge behind me; that I missed a turn along the way and just kept running, head stuck in the clouds, now with nothing left but the fall to take me.

Most Recently is how I have decided to qualify my answers in conversation these days. on the Road, one of the most common questions asked is “Where are you from?” and to this I have never had much of an answer—however outside America, nobody really knows the difference between Portland or Alaska or Massachusetts or really any of the places I’ve lived in-between.

Throughout the history that saw me in those places, among many others, which have now arrived me in a small town in Ireland for the past six weeks, the circumstances of my life have changed so drastically time and again that one would think I would be more accustomed to it. But being caught off guard is, I think, not something anyone can adapt to. It’s only about how one deals with it.1

…and it is slightly ironic, that not days after I’d shifted my mentality—from being in transit to temporary resident—now I am, at least for the time being, forced to shift back into my more transient nature.2

months shifted, lost into the ether; plans that only lasted 48 hours are sometimes the ones that impact for years. there is still Much To Do; I have no clue what it is or where it will be, but it’s usually worth finding out.

  • I sit down and spend hours focused on code and rebuild this website. It’s what I’ve done since I was 16; twenty years is a difficult habit to break.
  • The laws regarding visas are so dumb. I’m not going to complain about my issues with immigration shit given the concentration camps in the States, but the fact this all just has to do with capital makes it even more annoying.